If that was your dad, he is hot
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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