I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
