apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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