period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
