so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
