it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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