ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
