I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
