i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
