I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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