Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
