I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize
