he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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