If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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