I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Randomize
