i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
BRING THE BAGELS
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
