Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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