quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
