He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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