Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
