Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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