I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
