i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
