Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
