shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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