soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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