Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize
