Yo dont text me then not text me
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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