i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
