Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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