You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Randomize
