just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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