hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I have post one night stand depression
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
