So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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