I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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