I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
