I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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