i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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