Texts From Last Night

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  (205): View more from Alabama

  woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....

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  (205): woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers (1-205): yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness.... http://tfl.nu/wnn7
  Replies (62) Good night (10643) Bad night (805)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?

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  (617): why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency? http://tfl.nu/lb38
  Replies (35) Good night (3309) Bad night (628)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  you win again, gameday.

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  (713): you win again, gameday. http://tfl.nu/vyt9
  Replies (34) Good night (3070) Bad night (601)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong

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  (720): Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong http://tfl.nu/wxwn
  Replies (20) Good night (5206) Bad night (753)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Party in the USA is so catchy!

  (863): View more from Florida

  Yea, so is AIDS.

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  (305): Party in the USA is so catchy! (863): Yea, so is AIDS. http://tfl.nu/nzzd
  Replies (87) Good night (11567) Bad night (2040)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.

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  (403): Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it. http://tfl.nu/0g8l
  Replies (45) Good night (1021) Bad night (9682)
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  (235): View more from

  I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.

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  (235): I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick. http://tfl.nu/7zv4
  Replies (55) Good night (2230) Bad night (6518)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.

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  (407): Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock. http://tfl.nu/0ypw
  Replies (11) Good night (3624) Bad night (1409)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am

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  (781): It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am http://tfl.nu/v6r1
  Replies (19) Good night (3308) Bad night (1703)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade

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  (630): I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade http://tfl.nu/zmei
  Replies (22) Good night (4605) Bad night (1747)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Sobriety and mild self-respect

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  (336): you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs? (828): Sobriety and mild self-respect http://tfl.nu/8vbm
  Replies (5) Good night (1457) Bad night (648)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.

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  (604): It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good. http://tfl.nu/yhf8
  Replies (0) Good night (970) Bad night (478)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.

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  (303): I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers. http://tfl.nu/x72i
  Replies (4) Good night (1421) Bad night (442)
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  (909): View more from California

  I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.

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  (909): I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird. http://tfl.nu/vyym
  Replies (9) Good night (1127) Bad night (483)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick

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  (651): Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick http://tfl.nu/7fc7
  Replies (10) Good night (565) Bad night (613)

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