gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
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Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT