Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.

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  (214): Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public. http://tfl.nu/c7j6
  Replies (3) Good night (555) Bad night (778)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.

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  (303): I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund. http://tfl.nu/xrnk
  Replies (163) Good night (32080) Bad night (2031)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?

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  (620): Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair? http://tfl.nu/bhha
  Replies (42) Good night (3225) Bad night (758)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  We need to start having sex underwater more often.

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  (570): We need to start having sex underwater more often. http://tfl.nu/04ms
  Replies (19) Good night (5836) Bad night (641)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass

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  (515): theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass http://tfl.nu/ckyi
  Replies (39) Good night (5034) Bad night (2765)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.

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  (330): You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka. http://tfl.nu/837a
  Replies (6) Good night (906) Bad night (948)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.

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  (530): I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out. http://tfl.nu/bpyp
  Replies (14) Good night (665) Bad night (1717)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.

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  (843): woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed. http://tfl.nu/bkzs
  Replies (8) Good night (996) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.

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  (215): If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will. http://tfl.nu/oylu
  Replies (9) Good night (1132) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.

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  (772): When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny. http://tfl.nu/z1it
  Replies (14) Good night (661) Bad night (2165)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?

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  (845): Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ? http://tfl.nu/zpud
  Replies (8) Good night (1409) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.

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  (678): I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost. http://tfl.nu/2pxc
  Replies (9) Good night (594) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...

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  (302): OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but... http://tfl.nu/stjw
  Replies (6) Good night (809) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers

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  (248): I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers http://tfl.nu/pmtt
  Replies (6) Good night (709) Bad night (224)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.

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  (484): Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower. http://tfl.nu/xncl
  Replies (4) Good night (300) Bad night (421)

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