Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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