im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
