last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
