It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
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just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
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I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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