I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Dignity is for republicans.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
