I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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