Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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