Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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