I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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