Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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