super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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