Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
