Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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