He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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