Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
