I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I think I am morally bankrupt
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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