One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
