Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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