textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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